What would happen if you broke your own heart wide open?
With courage and humility we can allow our deepest fear, our most awful rejection, our greatest pain, to simply be. It is only when we identify with, and/or defend against, our worst nightmare that we suffer in an unproductive way. This suffering only creates more of the same. When we tell ourselves we cannot, or should not, or in any way rail against what is happening to us, it is we who reject and punish ourselves.
If, instead, we look with curiosity and wonder, with patience and compassion at the “worst” of who we think we are, can we transform our pain and darkness into vital creative life substance.
If something, anything, is in our lives, it is of us. Any rage, hate, vindictive grudge, any rejection, refusal, sorrow, loss, any sadness, emptiness, longing, all belong to whomever may be experiencing the emotion.
We, in our ignorance of this, and our refusal to tolerate the momentary discomfort, fling our inner experience out and blame our pain on the other, or on life.
This … whatever it may be, is only showing itself so that it may be seen, felt, listened to, held. This suffering is productive, life-changing, and healing. Identify the pain, the hate, the fear, as what it is and, when possible, investigate from where it may have arisen. Do not make the mistake of judging, refusing, running away from whatever may come up. The feeling is not who you are, nor does it prove anything about you, which is a most common mistake. This is the mistake of a child. Whatever piece of yourself you are not willing to be with cannot grow itself up, which is the true pain.
This process can be quite confusing at times. Pain hurts and it makes perfect sense to avoid it at any cost. Except that the cost of avoiding pain is the very life we were meant to live.
By embracing, with tenderness, ourselves while in our weakest moment, our most awful hurt, our greatest fear, we embrace all of life. We develop courage, honesty and a profound respect for ourselves. We see that others may only be acting out of their greatest pain and have compassion instead of judgment.
By being willing to break your own heart wide open, life can be more joyous, rewarding and meaningful.
Life can be, with a heart that has been broken, a most loving, exquisite experience.