The very human experiences of being hurt, sad, disappointed, frustrated and annoyed are not the personal attack we believe them to be. We do, mostly inadvertently, hurt and disappoint, frustrate and anger one another by our unconscious actions. The hurt, sadness, frustration, each and every pain we feel, lives in us.
We do not respond to stimulus for which we do not have a receptor. If I am an opening to feel rejected when another does not respond to me in a way that satisfies me, I will feel rejected. When I assume that I will be disappointed, even if that assumption lives in me and I am not conscious of its existence, I will often be very disappointed. If I listen to others with the perspective that people lie, I will hear a lot of lies. We cannot experience something that does not exist in our inner being.
We take what happens to us and filter it through our listening, our beliefs, our defenses. What actually happened, factually, is often very different from our interpretation.
If some hurt or pain or disappointment seems to follow wherever I go, it is I who is the common denominator. Unfortunately, most of us use the reoccurring upset as more proof. We say inwardly, “I knew it all along, life is … people are … I cannot …!” We think we are being smart by having figured it out! We believe we have found the key to never getting hurt again. We dig in our heels and say “No!” rather than risk getting hurt again. This is the true sadness, the true hurt, and what truly makes life feel so very frustrating.
Human beings do what human beings do. They always have and perhaps always will. We hurt one another. We are all, to the one, selfish, cruel, self-absorbed, perfectionistic, greedy and pathetic. We all live in a state of unconscious, dualistic “me versus you” mentality. We live in fear of pain, hurt, failure and death. We are afraid we will not get our share and that life is unjust. We look to prove this, find evidence for it, and then complain vociferously.
Complaining has become a sport we all watch on the national news. Unfortunately, in this game no one wins.
There are no solutions in gathering evidence for being a victim, helpless to the whims of others.
Where there is a solution is by finding the cause within. To first know, by observing the facts, and then feel into where we are avoiding our part in the matter, we can find our true power. By using our minds to look for the Truth rather than to find more proof, we can heal. By being willing to feel our True feelings, rather than recycling the old wounds of the child within, we can unite with others in our common pain. By using our Will for good rather than for evil, for rather than against life, we will take actions towards Union and peace.